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BUDDHA: IBM has the ideas to get you where you want to go today


Forwarded from velcro last year some time....


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On Fri, 2 Aug 1996, Galen Rutledge wrote:

> I don't know who sends this kind of thing out on the net, but I'm passing
> it on in good faith in the hope some of you might enjoy it enough to move
> your mind-sets from constructionism to healthy destructionism.
 
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> KABINDA, ZAIRE--In a move IBM offices are hailing as a major step in the
> company's ongoing worldwide telecommunications revolution, M'wana Ndeti, a
> member of Zaire's Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem
> yesterday to crush a nut.
> 
> Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked
> it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.
> 
> "I could not crush the nut by myself," said the 47-year-old Ndeti, who
> added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. "With
> IBM's help, I was able to break it." Ndeti discovered the nut-breaking,
> 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his
> southwestern Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African
> villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese
> schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the modem, which he
> believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.
> IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able to
> provide Ndeti with practical solutions to his everyday problems. "Our
> telecommunications systems offer people all over the world global
> networking solutions that fit their specific needs," said Herbert Ross,
> IBM's director of marketing. "Whether you're a nun cloistered in an Italian
> abbey or an Aborigine in Australia's Great Sandy Desert, IBM has the ideas
> to get you where you want to go today."
> According to Ndeti, of the modem's many powerful features, most impressive
> was its hard plastic casing, which easily sustained several minutes of
> vigorous pounding against a large stone. "I put the nut on a rock, and I
> hit it with the modem," Ndeti said. "The modem did not break. It is a good
> modem."
> 
> Ndeti was so impressed with the modem that he purchased a new, state-of-
> the-art IBM workstation, complete with a PowerPC 601 microprocessor, a
> quad-speed internal CD-ROM drive and three 16-bit ethernet networking
> connectors. The tribesman has already made good use of the computer system,
> fashioning a gazelle trap out of its wires, a boat anchor out of the
> monitor and a crude but effective weapon from its mouse.
> 
> "This is a good computer," said Ndeti, carving up a just-captured gazelle
> with the computer's flat, sharp internal processing device.  "I am using
> every part of it. I will cook this gazelle on the keyboard." Hours later,
> Ndeti capped off his delicious gazelle dinner by smoking the computer's
> 200-page owner's manual.
> 
> IBM spokespeople praised Ndeti's choice of computers. "We are pleased that
> the Bantu people are turning to IBM for their business needs," said company
> CEO William Allaire. "From Kansas City to Kinshasa, IBM is bringing the
> world closer together. Our cutting-edge technology is truly creating a
> global village."


------- End of Forwarded Message
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